Ten Lessons Learned From A Decade Of Mentoring
It’s been 10 years since I joined the Birkbeck Mentoring Pathways programme as a volunteer mentor after graduating with an MSc in Human Resource Development the year before.
10 years have gone by quickly, and in these years, I have mentored five people in fields as diverse as Academia to Food & Beverage and more.
As has become the norm with most mentoring and coaching programmes, most of this has been online and conducted even while I have been in the middle of international relocations. All the while, I have maintained close ties with my mentees and have stayed connected with them across geographies, time zones, career and life circumstance changes.
This summer, I attended the Birkbeck Mentoring Pathways Celebration at Birbeck, the University of London and met two of my former mentees in person for the first time. I got to reflecting on my ten years of mentoring and realised how transformative this experience has been, both for my mentees and myself. Here are ten key lessons I’ve learned along the way.
1. Mentorship is a Two-Way Street
By its very definition, as per EMCC, mentorship is an inclusive two-way partnership for mutual learning. It's not just about imparting knowledge— Several of my mentees were in professions and/or doing Masters programmes I had little prior knowledge of. While mentoring them, I learned about fascinating fields of study or work that I would never have had the opportunity to learn about normally.
2. Clear Vision Matters
Helping mentees define their career aspirations and goals can prove to be crucial. During our sessions, one of the mentees mentioned a profession she had vaguely heard of, but that seemed way out of reach as she didn’t have the networks or all the relevant experience. The sessions were used to clarify what the profession entailed and what joining it would require. Fast-forward to two years later and she landed a job doing exactly what she had envisioned.
3. Experience is Key and All Experience Matters
By this, I mean that a mentor doesn’t have to be in the exact sector or industry as the mentee to be of value. Mentors bring valuable insights gained through their journeys, whether through age or, in my case, the multiple experiences of working in different sectors, changing careers and navigating unchartered career paths without a step-by-step example of how someone else did this before me.
4. Networking
Guiding mentees on how to develop the skill of building their networks can be as or even more important than gaining access to a mentor’s existing network. The importance of building and leveraging networks cannot be overstated.
6. Get Your Hands Dirty While Being Mentored
Often, because mentoring is a voluntary exercise and follows a directive approach (unlike coaching), some believe that the onus is on mentors to deliver the goods. I’ve realised that just like a chef needs to engage in the cooking process, mentees who benefit most from mentorship are the ones who are willing to roll up their sleeves and put in the work to achieve their goals.
7. Adaptability is Crucial
Each mentoring relationship is unique. My mentees were all born in different countries, ranged between being 10 years younger to older than me, worked in different industries and were pursuing different degree programmes. Flexibility and openness to change enhance the mentoring experience.
8. Manage Expectations
Clear communication about goals and boundaries helps create a healthy mentoring relationship.
9. Celebrate Progress
Acknowledging milestones, no matter how small, boosts confidence and motivation for both mentor and mentee.
10. Lifelong Learning
Mentoring is as much about learning as it is about teaching. Every interaction offers new insights and perspectives.
I’m hoping to continue to grow and give as a mentor. Over the last three months, I’ve also been doing group mentoring sessions for the Justice Centre ‘Community Leadership Academy Youth in Leadership Programme’ for three young adults with refugee or asylum seeking status here in Hong Kong. To say the sessions have been transformational is an understatement. For me, it’s been eye-opening and humbling to understand how privileged my life has been in terms of never being in a situation where I was not allowed to work – asylum seekers do not have the legal right to work. Still, many continue to strive every day to learn and grow. Their dedication has been rewarding and has reinforced all the lessons I have learned from my decade of mentoring.
Here’s to the next 10 years of mentoring!