Recently, I received a wonderful email from a very satisfied client. She was pleased with the coaching process and results, and was excited about going back to work after a career break. I was thrilled for her too. In every way, she was the ideal coaching client – someone who committed to the process, put in the effort and worked on herself to achieve the goals identified and set.

After that lovely email, I asked her if she would be willing to post her testimonial as a LinkedIn recommendation and I was told she would not. Shocked by this, I probed further. I found that she did not want her colleagues and friends to know that she enlisted a coach to reach her goals. She felt that it would cause a perception that she was not good enough to get to where she was without a coach.

This isn’t the first time I have faced this. The reluctance to accept that they need help and go public with this information seems to be restricted to women (at least when it comes to career coaching, though men may be equally reluctant with life and personal coaches). Speaking to a few women I know and whom I have coached, I found out their main worries were:

• Acknowledging that they need help may lead to the perception that they are not intrinsically good enough for the role.

• Talking about their new job or position could jeopardise it in the initial phase. They would prefer to be well-established and settled before they ”advertise” their success.

• There is a negative association by some people with the coaching profession.

 This got me wondering – Are women who enlist the support of a coach when they are thinking of going back to work negatively impacted by the perception of their new colleagues?

Is There A Negative Association Towards Coaching?

In companies, coaching is often only reserved for high-potential and senior leaders as a way of making sure that they are at the top of their game. The book, The Trillion Dollar Coach, is just an example of how top CEOs (not surprisingly, they are mostly male!) work regularly with coaches to keep moving their companies forward. Why is it then that women who take the lead in their own lives and get career-related help find that it is something to be ashamed of?

Following my musings, I interviewed a few former clients (men and women), colleagues and friends to understand why this shame of coaching exists. I believe that one of the reasons is that coaching is an unprotected profession. Even though there are reputed certifying bodies, such as the ICF and the EMCC, anyone can call themselves a coach, even if they don’t have the necessary qualifications. Therefore, it’s quite likely that there are plenty of people who have negative associations with coaches, the coaching process, and those who opt for coaching.

Another reason for the negative association towards coaching is that, at times, it’s used as a performance management tool. At companies, you sometimes find executive coaches called in for senior leaders who are “difficult” to work with. Instead of coaching being used to positively influence a person’s behaviour and attitude, it becomes a correction method. Naturally, this furthers the perception that it’s only those who are “lacking” who need coaching.

How To Accept Coaching Support

I do believe these negative perceptions will reduce over time as more people take charge of their career directions and goals. Till then, what can you do if you are struggling to admit that you need and want coaching?

1)    Do your homework. Check the coach’s credentials, certifications (read about the certifying bodies as well) and testimonials.

2)    Do a chemistry call with a coach and check how comfortable you feel with the coach.

3)    When you decide that you are going for coaching, accept it as a sign that you are self-aware, motivated and willing to put in the hard work required to transform your personal and professional life.

If you need professional support and would like to reach out to an executive career coach, do get in touch. I would be happy to help!