Why Women Struggle With Networking And How To Overcome This

Shaina Zaveri interned with Nerice during the COVID-19 pandemic in Hong Kong, helping her with content creation and research. She brought an academic approach to her work, which is now serving her in good stead as a Psychology and Counselling Major at the University of Hong Kong.

“Men are 12 times more likely than women to have a strong network on LinkedIn.”

This is according to a LinkedIn employee who was on a panel about networking with Nerice a few years ago. A strong network indicates the degree of your connections, giving you the ability to find a job or career progression (outside the people you normally know and interact with). Quantitatively, a strong LinkedIn network is usually seen as one with 500+ connections (though it’s not a hard and fast rule). Without getting too technical, the relevance of the statement above by the LinkedIn employee is that the algorithm of LinkedIn works in a way to show more opportunities to users with more connections.

Nerice and I then speculated about the reasons behind this gender difference and she suggested that I dig into this topic further. I set off trying to understand the underlying reasons for differences in the sizes of networks based on gender. My findings suggest that there is a mix of environmental and individual factors that influence a woman’s networking patterns.

How societal norms affect women’s networking

In today’s social context, there are gender expectations when it comes to workplace situations, for instance, when networking. A wide range of research suggests that women’s networks include fewer, closer relationships whereas men’s networks are larger in size with looser ties. Men are also encouraged to be more outspoken while women are expected to show “feminine” qualities of softness. It becomes obvious then, that we as women, tend to internalise the expectations that society imposes on us which eventually reflects in our networking styles. 

The ways in which women are socialised are related to how they internalise certain characteristics and behaviours, and ultimately these are reflected in their styles of forming connections. Below I will explain these differences and offer some of Nerice’s suggestions to overcome the common barriers that women face when networking. 

What women tell themselves about networking

In a study conducted by Greguletz, Diehl and Kreutzer (2018), it was found that women’s personal hesitation acts as a barrier to efficient networking. This intrinsic hesitation is a result of gendered modesty. Over time, women have associated themselves with notions of inferiority and have internalised judgments. For these reasons, we have grown to underestimate our worth, and doubt the importance of our contributions in social workplace settings (Kulik & Olekalns, 2012). Perhaps, we have told ourselves where we stand and how we fit into today’s workplace environment.

How women get excluded from networking opportunities

Women’s intrinsic reluctance further excludes them from formal and informal networking events.  Due to the work-family conflict, women may not have the time to build a large network (Linehan and Scullion, 2008). As a child growing up, I remember my father being absent on many evenings when he was out with friends or colleagues, but my mother never missed our dinner and bedtime rituals. There is indeed a heavier expectation from women to strike a balance between work and family duties. The same doesn’t exist for men. In that case, perhaps social expectations are forcing working moms to get back home by 6 pm to look after the children and cook the meals, pulling them away from networking opportunities. 

How can women start networking?

Most of us are aware that networking is a good habit but feel afraid to take the steps needed to put ourselves out there. If you cringe at the idea of networking and don’t know where to start, read Nerice’s advice here. Her 3-step process (along with suggested activities) is simple and easily doable, no matter what age or stage in your professional career you are at.

One of the greatest tips I received from Nerice is to treat networking like going to the gym. Think of forming a network like building muscle. It might be tough at first but the more you work towards it, the better it gets and the more you realise its value. What is needed from your end is a conscious awareness and effort to change. Try to set targets for yourself and create goals that you want to attain. It is always a good idea to treat yourself at the end. For example, tell yourself that for every 10 connections you make, you can enjoy a cosy girls’ day in, or a fancy meal to celebrate. 

 And if you think you need a greater degree of support, you could consider seeking coaching from a professional. Nerice Gietel, an executive coach, can guide you through building a network and help you realise your potential!